-
Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
-
Your
orgasms are real ... always.
-
Your
last name stays put.
-
The
garage is all yours.
-
Wedding
plans take care of themselves.
-
You
never feel compelled to stop a friend getting laid.
-
Car
mechanics tell you the truth.
-
You
don't give a rat's arse whether or not someone notices your new haircut.
-
Hot
wax never comes near your pubic area.
-
Wrinkles
add character.
-
A
few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.
-
You
don't have to leave the room to make emergency crutch adjustments.
-
People
never glance over your chest when you are talking to them.
-
The
occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
-
New
shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
-
Not
liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
-
Your
pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything
different?"
-
You
can appreciate great sport.You can throw a ball more than five feet.
-
One
mood, ALL the damn time.
-
A
five day holiday requires only one suitcase.
-
You
can open all your own jars.
-
Dry
cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
-
You
can go to a public toilet without a support group.
-
You
can leave a hotel bed unmade.
-
You
can kill your own food (or bake your own bread).
-
You
get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-
If
someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be
your friend.
-
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
-
Everything
on your face stays its original colour.
-
You
can enjoy a quiet car ride with a passenger.
-
Three
pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-
You
don't have to clean your flat if the meter reader is coming.
-
You
can sit in silence watching a football match with your mate for hours,
without thinking "He must be mad at me".
-
You
can drop by to see a friend without having to bring little gift.
-
If
another guy shows up at a party wearing the same outfit you might
become lifelong friends.
-
You
are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
-
You
don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
-
You
are unable to see wrinkles on your clothes.
-
The
same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-
You
don't have to shave below your neck.
-
Your
belly usually hides your big hips.
-
One
wallet and one pair shoes, one colour, all seasons.
-
You
can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
-
You
have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
-
Christmas
shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24, in
45 minutes.
- Same job more
pay. The world is your urinal